I never had a choice
by WithoutTheDark
Summary: Rewrite of “There’s the Rub” 2X16 . In this version, Lorali and Emily don’t come home early and Rory is left home alone all night... well not exactly alone, she does have one visitor... Its a bit long, but worth the read I think.


Every time I watch episode 2x16 "There's the Rub," I can't help but think "what would have happened had Jess come back?" Here is my smutty little version of what should have happened, or at least what I would have liked to have happened. I hope you all enjoy, this is my first attempt at this kind of a story.

Oh yeah... and I do NOT own any of the Gilmore Girls characters (although I wish I owned me a little Milo).

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"I should go home too," Paris said, "I'm sure I'm going to break out in a rash any minute now."

I walked her to the door and watched her drive away. After the catastrophe with Dean, I just wanted to be alone. I sat for a while on the front porch just thinking. Why did Dean get so upset about Jess being here? Why had I asked Paris to stay, did I really feel that Jess and I needed a 'chaperone' as he had put it? What was going on?

"Hey." I heard a familiar voice say. I had been so lost in thought that I hadn't notice Jess reappear. I was actually happy to see him.

After a few moments of silence I said "Thanks for being so nice to Paris, I know she can be a bit much at times."

"No problem." was his simple reply.

Silence... again.

"Why did you come back?" I asked. I figured he had gone back to Luke's or wherever it is he wanders at night.

"I wanted to see you... that's why I came in the first place." He walked over and sat next to me on the porch. "Why are you with him? You guys have nothing in common; I can't even imagine what you two talk about."

"I love him and he's good to me... my mom likes him." I stopped. "And we have plenty to talk about." I added as an afterthought.

He stared at me skeptically for a minute before dropping his eyes.

"Why did you want me to leave so badly when he told you he was coming over? It's not like there's anything going on between us." I could see the pain in his eyes as he said that, did he really have feelings for me like Dean so fervently claimed?

This was a side of Jess that I had never seen before, his bad boy façade gone. He had been so different tonight, he had debated so passionately with Paris about books and poetry, he brought me dinner so I wouldn't be hungry, he was very obviously hurt when I rushed him out of the house, and now this... this anguish I saw in his eyes.

Before I could stop myself, I reached over and took his hand. I liked the way it felt, his hand in mine. He looked up at me surprised; I held his stare for a few seconds before trying to speak.

"Jess-" I fell short and dropped my gaze.

What was there to say? I was with Dean; yes, I had feelings for Jess but was it really worth it? Would it ever be what I have with Dean?

I looked up at him again; he was looking down at our hands. He really was beautiful, with his deep brown eyes and his gorgeous face. When he looked back up at me, I was taken aback by what I saw in his eyes. The hurt was still there, and so was the shock at me taking his hand, but it was mixed with something else... he looked almost determined and before I realized what was happening, his lips were on mine. The passion in this kiss was like nothing I had felt before... I never felt this when Dean kissed me. This kiss stirred something deep inside me.

Dean! I couldn't do this. I quickly pulled away from Jess and stood up to put some distance between us.

"Jess, I can't." I said as soon as there was some space between us.

"Why not?" he questioned as he got to his feet.

"Because I'm with Dean, I can't do this to him."

"Dean?" he took one-step closer. "Is he the only thing stopping you?" he took another step. "Are you saying that if Dean weren't in the picture there could be something between?" he asked, taking a third step towards me, he was quickly closing the space I had put between us.

"Yes... I mean no... I don't know." I couldn't think clearly. That kiss had taken me by surprise, the feeling that it stirred were nothing I had felt before. When I looked back up, he was only a few steps away.

We stood and stared at each other for a minute before either of us spoke again. Finally, Jess spoke up.

"Do you like me?"

How do I respond to that without hurting him or hurting Dean or anyone else... was there a way?

"It doesn't matter, I'm with Dean."

"It does matter, it matters to me and I know it matters to you." He said while taking another step closer, only 2 left before he completely closed the gap.

I thought for a minute. Why wasn't I backing away from his advances? Was Dean really the only thing stopping me?

"Well?" he questioned again, taking another step, one more. "Do you have feelings for me?"

He took the last step and we were only inches apart now. I looked up at him still not knowing what to say. Yes, I had feelings for him, but there were so many reasons why we shouldn't happen.

He reached his hand out and tucked a stray hair back behind my ear then wiped the tear from under my eye, when had I started crying? He left his hand on my cheek, his thumb gently rubbing circles there. As I stared up into his eyes, I knew I never had a choice, the minute I saw him I was gone. Dean or no Dean I was falling for Jess and falling hard. He must have seen the resolve in my eyes because as soon as I came to this realization I felt his perfect pink lips crash down on mine and this time I didn't stop him.

The kiss started out soft and tender. We both knew what we wanted at this point and there was nothing stopping him or me anymore. I moved my mouth with his and before long granted his tongue entrance into my mouth. I pulled him closer in an attempt to deepen this kiss... this perfect, passionate kiss. I hadn't really realized we had been moving until I felt the wall against my back. I grabbed his coat trying to pull him still closer, I needed to feel him pressed against me, I needed to feel his warmth. The hand that mad been on my cheek was now in my hair holding me there. His other hand began running down my right arm starting at my shoulder. I loved the way his hands felt on me, he left a trail of fire everywhere he touched. I moved my hands from his jacket, my left reached up and tangled in his hair. I took my right hand a tangled it with his.

He began to pull away from me a bit, but I followed. There was no way I was going to let him break this kiss yet. He took the hand that had been holding mine and wrapped it around my waist pulling me with him. He walked me backwards towards the front door. When we reached it, he broke our kiss but only for a moment. As soon as we were inside I had him pinned against the door. I wanted him in ways that I had never wanted anyone before. I never wanted to stop kissing him. I put my hands on his shoulders under his jacket sliding it off. He quickly did the same with mine. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and started walking backwards, still never breaking our kiss. We both wanted this badly. I moved him in the direction of my room, when we reached my door he broke the kiss again and looked at me with an almost confused look on his face. I opened my bedroom door and walked passed him into my room not bothering to turn on my light. He stood in my doorway just looking at me for a minute.

"Aren't you coming?" I asked.

"Rory, not 5 minutes ago you said this couldn't happen and now you're doing this... what changed?" He questioned

"I looked in your eyes and knew that I had no choice..."

He looked at me quizzically.

"I was yours as soon as we met. I tried to deny it... I tried to fight it, but tonight, when I looked into your eyes I knew that I never stood a chance... this was gonna happen I just needed to accept that."

With what he was across the room pulling me into his embrace again smashing his perfect mouth to mine. With his arms around me I felt happier and more at peace than ever before. As soon as my hands touched his chest, I began fumbling with the buttons on his shirt. One by one, I revealed his perfect body, as I pushed it off I took a minute to look at him. He was more amazing than I could have ever imagined, he had perfectly sculpted abs with a sexy trail that disappeared beneath the waist of his jeans, the sight of that made me want him even more, I began backing him up towards my bed and when his legs hit the bed, I pushed him back onto it. When he hit the bed he looked up at me shocked and gave me that sexy ass half smile of his before grabbing me and pulling me down with him.

As soon as I was on him, he rolled me over and began trailing kisses down my cheek, to my neck and collarbone. One hand reached up and held mine down on the bed while the other began to unbutton my top. Each time he revealed a bit of my skin he showered in with kissed, trailing all the way down my torso until the last button was undone. I pulled him back up to meet my lips pulling him down on top of me at the same time. The weight of him on top of me felt amazing. Before long, I felt him reach behind me to un-hook my bra. When he leaned up to look at me I realized I had never felt more exposed yet more comfortable at the same time. I felt safe with Jess, I knew that he cared about me and I knew that he wouldn't do anything tonight that I wasn't comfortable with.

"You're more beautiful than I had imagined." He said.

"You've imagined this before?" I questioned him.

"Every night since I met you. You've haunted my dreams since the moment I saw you." That only made me want him more... he thought about me, about us... together. I pulled him down on top of me again and rolled him over. As soon as I was on top of him, I let my hands travel down his prefect body to his hips. I hesitated only for a second before attempting to unbutton his jeans. I began to get frustrated when I couldn't get it.

"Breath, just relax Rory." He brought his hand down to help my, guiding mine. Once I had his unbuttoned, I could feel the in disguisable erection press up against me. I began pushing his pants down and he lifted his hips to help, I heard a loud thud on the floor as he kicked off his shoes. As soon as he was free of his pants, he rolled on top of me again and freed me of my jeans. He slowly ran his hand back up my leg burning me everywhere he touched. Once he reached my thigh, I felt him shift position and move his hand to my inner thigh I opened my legs to him without thinking and was surprised when I felt his hand reach me, even through my thin cotton panties it felt amazing. I wanted him... I needed him.

His hands moved up again to my hips as he stuck a finger in the waist of my panties and began to lower them. The only thing separating us now was his boxers. I reached the waistband of boxers but he pulled away from me... he gave me a devious smile before he began kissing down my neck and trailing his was down to my breasts. His mouth quickly found my left nipple and a moan escaped my lips. I needed to have him. So I again reached for his boxers, this time he let me slide my thumbs under the waistband and push them down. I looked down between us at his perfectly erect penis. I wasn't surprised at how big it was, however, I was worried that it may hurt. I looked back up at him to catch him smiling at me with nothing but pure lust in his eyes. He wanted this just as much as I did. I slowly reached my hand back down and began to stroke his cock. I watched as his eyes closed and he moaned. The sight of him in such pure ecstasy was mind blowing.

"Jess, I want you." I whispered into his ear.

He looked down at me again and I could tell that he was a little bit unsure.

"Are you sure this is what you want? I don't want to do anything unless you are ready for this."

"I have never been more sure about anything in my life."

"This is going to hurt a bit."

"I know, but I need you inside of me."

I could feel him begin to press against me as my hips rose involuntarily to meet him. He kissed me one more time before entering me. I cried out in pure pleasure as soon as I felt him fill me. I could tell he was doing all that he could to hold himself still so that I could adjust to feeling him inside of me. When the pain began to dull, I began moving into him. Once he realized I was ready he began moving with me in unison. I have never felt anything more incredible in my life. The feeling of Jess filling me was like no pleasure I had ever experienced in my life. I pulled his face down to mine to kiss him; I needed to be connected with him in every way possible. Before much longer, I could feel myself tighten around him as I was reaching my climax, as soon as I let go I felt him go over the edge with me as he came inside of me. We rode out our climaxes together. Once the final waves of pleasure subsided, he looked down at me and began gently kissing my face, trailing kisses on my forehead, eyelids, cheeks and nose before finally coming to my mouth. I could feel his heartbeat begin to slow as he pulled out of me and rolled to my side. We laid there in a comfortable silence for a few minutes taking in what had just happened.

"Rory," he said as he rolled onto his side and perched himself up on his elbow looking down at me, "I love you."

I was shocked to hear that come from him, was it just this moment, or did he really love me? More importantly, did I love him? Before I had to say anything, he spoke again.

"You don't have to respond, and I don't expect you to say it back, I just needed you to know." And with that I fell into the most blissful sleep of my life.


End file.
